Second, realise you're not alone. Most people have been bullied at some stage of their lives. The good news is that it is like the measles: it does stop, it does go away. But it's horrible having the measles. So what is it and what can you do?
What is Cyberbulling?
This is unwanted text messages, phone video recordings, or web posts being used to threaten,
abuse or harm someone. It's intimidation by electronic means.
It’s like physical or verbal bullying, but it uses technology instead.
Cyberbullying, like all bullying, is hard on the victim. It causes stress, and it can lead to stress-related illnesses.
For Those Being Cyber-bullied: What Can You Do?
There some things NOT to do, and there are some things TO do.
First, it’s vital you don’t suffer in silence. DON'T reply to the messages (this is really important: if you reply, the abuse will only intensify [get stronger]); Try not to show the person that they have hurt you. Don't get anyone else to reply either: we want to solve the problem, not make it bigger. Don't believe what the person doing the bullying is saying to you. If you've read it once, that's enough; don't keep re-reading it. And don't blame yourself for the unhappiness of the person doing the bullying.
Instead, do the following:
- Save the evidence (photo/email/video/web post, etc)! (Learn how to take a screengrab/screenshot and save it for evidence.) The good news is that it is easier to save evidence of cyberbullying than old-style face-to-face bullying.
- Tell people! Nobody can help you if you don't tell them. If you tell someone, the bullying can be brought to an end, without making things worse for you or for anyone else. Tell an adult you trust, such as your Ma/Da/ brother/sister/ aunt/uncle/ nan/grandad, a family friend, a teacher (me OR another teacher—we'll all help), a health
professional or a youth worker.
It's important to talk to someone about it. You must! Nearly everyone will help. If the first person you go to doesn't help, then tell another adult you trust until someone DOES help.
Also feel free to tell your friends or people you trust in class. Tell them how you feel. Ask them to come with you to tell a teacher if you are afraid. Ask them to stand up with you against the bully.(If it's a school problem, we'll take the person doing the bullying aside, challenge them about their behaviour, and work with them on their behaviour. It will stop. You'll be okay.) - If the bullying is on a website like facebook or twitter where you can block the person doing the bullying, block! Or consider closing your account and living in peace without it for a while; you can always open another one another time.
- Remember to come back to this site and read this again. And/or go to console.ie, webwise.ie, or spunout.ie for more help.
- If you want to, then contact a free confidential support service such as Childline Ireland's website (free phone: 1 800 66 66 66)(free text: 50101) or the Samaritans (not free, normal rates: 1850 609090, or email: jo@samaritans.org).
- If you want to, report the bullying to the Gardaí (they will ask you for the evidence you've collected).
- Report the bullying to the technology providers such as the mobile phone company, web host or website owner (facebook/twitter).
Remember, don’t take part in forwarding pictures, messages or insults about a person. You may think it is a joke, but you could be really upsetting the person involved and even commiting a crime. To look at or forward this sort of stuff means you are contributing to cyberbullying.
Letting it happen by doing nothing can be just as bad.
If you are aware of cyberbullying, it’s SO important that you take action. Intervene. Defend and support the victim. Tell the person doing the bullying (who might usually be a good person) to stop. They might not know the pain they could be causing. Do the right thing; you're not alone in knowing the cyberbullying is wrong and uncool. Tell the person to stop; if they don't stop then it's your duty to report it: Tell adults you trust about what is going on and they will be able to help; keep telling until someone helps.
AND, wouldn't it be good if you gave the person who's being bullied some support. Tell them you don't agree with the bullying. If you joined in or stayed silent earlier, tell them you're sorry about that. Talk with them. Listen to them.
Doing all this will wipe out any negative feelings you might have (worries, shame, even guilt). You'll feel a lot better.
And For Those Who Are Doing The Bullying...
And if you yourself are doing the bullying, stop! Think for a moment: ask yourself these questions: "what did I do? who got hurt? in what way did they get hurt? what needs to happen to make things right? what behaviour do I need to change?" Take responsibility for what you're doing or for what you did.
I doubt you want to hurt someone as much as you are doing. Again, think about the harm you're doing. Don't you want to stop? Don't you want to remove whatever you posted? Don't you want to apologise? So do it now and immediately feel better.
People who bully usually do so because they have a problem of some sort. Maybe you don't even know what it is. Let's talk about it. Or, if you'd prefer not to talk with me about it, talk about it with someone else. Once you talk about it, you usually work out what the problem is and can then peacefully solve it.
Letting it happen by doing nothing can be just as bad.
If you are aware of cyberbullying, it’s SO important that you take action. Intervene. Defend and support the victim. Tell the person doing the bullying (who might usually be a good person) to stop. They might not know the pain they could be causing. Do the right thing; you're not alone in knowing the cyberbullying is wrong and uncool. Tell the person to stop; if they don't stop then it's your duty to report it: Tell adults you trust about what is going on and they will be able to help; keep telling until someone helps.
AND, wouldn't it be good if you gave the person who's being bullied some support. Tell them you don't agree with the bullying. If you joined in or stayed silent earlier, tell them you're sorry about that. Talk with them. Listen to them.
Doing all this will wipe out any negative feelings you might have (worries, shame, even guilt). You'll feel a lot better.
And For Those Who Are Doing The Bullying...
And if you yourself are doing the bullying, stop! Think for a moment: ask yourself these questions: "what did I do? who got hurt? in what way did they get hurt? what needs to happen to make things right? what behaviour do I need to change?" Take responsibility for what you're doing or for what you did.
I doubt you want to hurt someone as much as you are doing. Again, think about the harm you're doing. Don't you want to stop? Don't you want to remove whatever you posted? Don't you want to apologise? So do it now and immediately feel better.
People who bully usually do so because they have a problem of some sort. Maybe you don't even know what it is. Let's talk about it. Or, if you'd prefer not to talk with me about it, talk about it with someone else. Once you talk about it, you usually work out what the problem is and can then peacefully solve it.
In General, How Can We Stay Safe Online?
I've put "Top Tips" for staying safe online in another post (the one above this). They come from spunout.ie
Do your parents know much about how to help you stay safe online? Tell them there's lots of great tips and videos for them on webwise.ie
Do your parents know much about how to help you stay safe online? Tell them there's lots of great tips and videos for them on webwise.ie